Imperial Witch.

Let's Learn Something About Ourselves!!

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:27:05 GMT

DIRECTIONS
Read each passage. Then read each question that follows the passage. Decide which is the best answer to each question. Mark the circle next to the letter for that answer.

This is:
A) An introduction post.
B) An excuse to kill time.
C) Kind of ridiculous, really.
D) SPARTAAAAAA!

Which of these best describes livejournal user terra:
A) Alex, 22/F/CA
B) College student by day: mostly the same thing by night.
C) Deeply obsessed with Locke Cole.
D) My little pony.

terra is interested in which of the following things:
A) Videogames as expressed in sixteen bit, the language of Ivalice and/or the pseudopolitics of the Suikoden world.
B) Literature, especially that written for children and including wizards with or without tophats, four color pictures of the marvelous variety and otherwise, and Really Great Important Books with thousands of pages, metaphors, and the occasional swordfight.
C) Dead white men and that one time Alexander Hamilton and James Madison totally hung out, and they like, wrote stuff and it was crazy, man.
D) Shirtless Christian Bale.

When encountering terra in the wild, it is best to:
A) Duck and cover.
B) Approach with caution.
C) Use Charmander, she's weak to fire.
D) Professor Plum, in the library, with the wrench.

DOCUMENT BASED QUESTION:
Email: revanche@gmail.com
AIM: xxAlethia
MSN: alex@valiantknife.org
WWW: The Valiant Knife

Now for the essay question. Comments are screened: remember to show your work.

Necromancy

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 19:10:01 GMT

So I'm back, and my computer is fixed, which means now I can chat with people without any repercussions!! Except the usual subdual damage to sanity, ah hah hah. So soon there will be a contact post, and it will be fun.

Bad news is, my entire harddrive had to be wiped. I saved my thesis files, but not much else, so it will probably be a while before I'm really up and running on the online front. BUT. I have fanfic drabbles for people that I originally wrote down in a notebook. DUN DUN DUN.

Title: Legacies
Series: Young Avengers
Character(s)/Pairing: Kate, Eli, THE LASER-EYED GHOST OF CLINT BARTON
Rating: PGish, maybe PG-13?
Notes: For analogic and our "write YA that isn't Billy/Teddy" thing. I regret not having Tommy show up and randomly hit on Kate. Also, this will be uncanon in like three seconds, I tried to work in the YA:Presents #6 preview but really who knows.

Kate's walking home from school when she sees him, crouched in front of a Starbucks sign, hands full of dust, alive. At first she tells herself that it's only a trick of the light: she's only ever seen him in pictures. But he keeps showing up, at crosswalks, on parkway paths, keeps burning through the nameless sea of people like fireworks in the dark. Maybe it's just her imagination, maybe ghosts exist and Kate's are hungry, maybe Clint Barton is really stalking her. She still walks the same way to school: some things never change.

***

"So," she says when she's back safe in bed, mouthing into a telephone receiver. "Clint Barton's alive."

"Wait, what?" This isn't what Eli expected.

"Y'know Ronin? The guy who spends his time re-enacting stage-coach robberies on the Romantic Express? That's him."

"Isn't he supposed to be—"

"Hawkeye? Yeah." Kate stops for a moment, tries to think. "He's supposed to be Hawkeye."

"Well, screw him. You're Hawkeye now. Captain America said so."

"And I can't believe I listened to him." Kate makes a face. "What was I thinking? 'I totally have the right to give away his old codename, because I'm Captain America. I swear Clint's at least mostly dead.'"

"Really, I don't know why you're freaking out about this. It's not like he's your new stepmom or somethin'."

"Well, how would you feel of Jeff Mace or whoever showed up at your door all Night of the Living Dead?"

"Jeff Mace? I didn't even know he existed until Bucky told me. Besides, he's been dead for like, fifty years."

"Uh huh. Rewind that a bit, start with the part about Bucky."

"Okay fine, Kate. Real clever. You got me there. But that ain't the point and you know it." He's angry now; turns out calling him wasn't such a good idea. "Just—just think for a second. We didn't want you joining the Young Avengers. Hell, I don't even wanna be talking to you now." Maybe that came out wrong, but he doesn't bother trying to correct it.

"Gee, thanks. I'm so glad I turned to you in my moment of need."

"What I'm tryin' to say is that you make yourself who you are, y'know? And that I'm going back to sleep because I don't need your bullshit right now."

He hangs up.
***
When she sleeps there are strange shapes in her darkness, memories that run through her like a bolt through a door. There are hands that run all over her body, the dirt underneath his fingernails, gin on his breath as he takes her exactly as he likes. In her dreams there's nothing she can do to fight him; nothing but the crush of the grass and the last threads of daylight moving brightly through the leaves.

It's only when she wakes that Kate remembers who she is.

***
She goes to school the next morning, like always. The teachers ask her the same kinds of questions— What was the role of Congress during the American Revolution? Solve for x. Show your work. They're the kind of answers that come easy but Kate doesn't raise her hand. There are too many noises, too many distractions, too many things she doesn't want to remember. At lunch she sits alone, listens to the things the other girls say about her.

"Yeah, she thinks she's so much better than us 'cause her daddy's sooo rich. Like I give a damn about the size of her inheritance."

"Then it's a good thing I don't give a damn about the size of your ego, Stacey," Kate trills from across the table. "Because I have no problem telling you how small a person you really are."

***
At archery practice she hits the bullseye one, two, three times in a row. Maybe Eli's right, Kate thinks. Maybe none of them wanted her at first, maybe she should give Clint back his bow and arrows. But there are some things no one can take away.

Title: Human Grace
Series: Final Fantasy IV
Character(s)/Pairing: Kain/Rosa (/Cecil)
Rating: PG, but creepy!
Notes: For rydia's birthday! There is art that goes along with this too, which will be posted when I get my hands on a scanner.

In the narrow, vivid dark Rosa kneels, collapses. Kain traces the curve of her chin with soot-stained fingers, his armor brushing up against the chains. He keeps her bound in the center of this arching, foreign space—like a statue in a cathedral, a witch at the stake.

"I am unworthy of you, beloved Rosa," he says, and presses his palm to her hand, chaste. She can feel the scratch of his whiskers against her cheek.

"Kain-- Kain, stop. This isn't you, Golbez is doing something. This isn't you."

"I know you fear for me, but a knight is no knight without his trials. I will bring Cecil's banner back to you, or I will perish in the trying." He pauses, breathes out. "It is a glorious fate, my love. Do not cry on my account."
"What are you saying, Kain? Where have they hidden you?"

"I am right here, Rosa." His hands never travel lower than her neck. "As ever I have been." And then his ghosts are traveling like serpents up his spine, the fiends' whispers nearer to him than the gods. It is all him, this nameless, unquiet ache, textured with velvet, wrought hard in steel.

A throaty gasp escapes the quiet and rises-- a healing prayer. "Kain," she says, when he can't see her. "I forgive you."

Title: The Night
Series: Twilight/BATMAN
Character(s)/Pairing: Edward Cullen!!, CHRISTIAN BALE
Rating: PG
Notes: This was the other thing I wrote for whisperwords drabble-a-thon that I couldn't post because I got kicked out of the library. Takes place during the blank pages part in New Moon.

After leaving Bella, Edward goes to Gotham, where it's always cloudy. The Narrows are full of rats and convenience stores, homeless bums with their blankets and tight wooden beams. Edward lets the din of the place wash over him—it's not yours, not yours, get the damn hell out of here you good for nothing whore. He is cold, singular, an angel of mercy looking down in a plain white shirt. There is nothing clean here for his otherness to stain.

When night falls Edward is still stalking the musty gutterways, staring at people just to see how they react. He can smell blood in five different directions, finds his feet walking to the nearest. There are three hooded thugs beating an old man to death, and the red is catching on the inside of their knuckles even if they can't see colors in the dark.

"You shouldn't do that," he calls out to them from across the alleyway.

"Heh heh. Punk kids think they're the Batman or something."

Edward moves towards him, quicksilver fast, and puts one perfect ivory hand around the guy's dirty cotton-covered neck. "Who's Batman?" he asks, not even bothering to look at the man as he throws him one-handed into the trash heap.

"I am," someone whispers from behind him. The thugs hit the pavement with hurried footfalls and gasping breaths. Soon, Edward and the Batman are alone.

"This is my city," he says, like charcoal and asphalt. Edward can tell this isn't his real voice, but he doesn't know what the other man is hiding. He's human, anyway, so fragile, so easy to break. "This is my city," says the Batman, not moving. Edward can't feel what he's thinking through the threat of man-made shadows, can't hear the man's footsteps as he fades back into the dark. Edward leaves, too, and there is only the old man left, face pressed unconscious to the ground.

And THIS is why I don't write fanfic.

HI-8-US

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 22:51:43 GMT

SOOOO, smart folks might remember that my computer started acting not happy a month or two back. WELL. It finally gave up a few days ago, and it won't start. So, I finally got it to the shop this morning, and it should be okay in a few days or so, but I just wanted to be all exposition-lady with why I've been inconsistent the past few days.

STAY CLASSY, FLIST. I'll finish out the haikus when my computer gets back probably, and you can still request if you want :D

NERD POSSST.

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 01:35:04 GMT

So I'm back at my apartment. Exciting! Except not really. Not really exciting at all.

♥ I finally got to the comic shop after like two weeks, so I spent lots of money-- Criminal, Green Lantern, All Star Superman, Astonishing X-men (see, I read X-men sometimes!!), the YA special, etc etc. The best was All Star Superman, but really when is it not?

♥ My Wild Arms disc is scratched!! Which sucks because I'm more than 20 hours in. I used a friends resurfacer on it, so we'll see if that works, if not I have to go get it done professionally. :/ ON THE UPSIDE: I have Shadow Hearts 2 as a backup. Man, my life is awesome.

♥ I started War and Peace again. During the school year I can't really do the long-serious-books reading for pleasure, even though the first 200 pages make it seem right up my alley. But now, summer approaches, and I can be the coolest kid on the beach with my 1500 page Russian novels. OH YEAH.

♥ I am actually making a new layout for valiantknife.org. Really. On a related note, if someone has a high quality image of the Vagrant Story rood design, I'd really like it??

♥ "Call Me" is my new favorite Rock Band song.

DILEMNA, FLIST: I just got a response to someone else's craigslist ad in my inbox. It seems that somewhere out there, there is an e-couple waiting to "hook up" by terms of modern parlance. Unfortunately, along the way the man misplaced a decimal in his would-be lover's email address, and now the conversation has fallen to ME. Should I forward it with a note? Just forward it and not say anything and hope no one notices? IGNORE IT AND PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED??

Also, hi new people. I don't have any newfangled introduction posts or comment criteria, I figure: it's a livejournal, you can figure it out. But I do encourage you to participate in this meme I just made up.

Comment with the name of a fictional character. I will reply with a haiku about that character. Example haiku can be found here. C'MON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

I really suck at titles, these days.

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 04:13:16 GMT

So, I'm trying to articulate all the ways this secret upset me. (I KNOW, fandomsecrets = 4SRS. Just deal with it.) I'm pretty sure it has to do with the strange idea of a tru nerd elite, or self-fetishizing posters on the gamefaqs messagebords. One of my biggest problems as a non-target demographic gamer is the infuriating sameness of the marketing material I'm exposed to. I like videogames, therefore I must drink special flavors of Mountain Dew and enjoy large-breasted women in rather impractical underwear.

Recently I had a conversation in one of my history classes about Age of Empires and Resident Evil. About halfway through, he just stopped and said, "Wow. It's just so weird that you're a girl and you know what I'm talking about." Uh huh, really. I wonder why that is. Games are varying degrees of sexist, it's true, but they can also be empowering. There's nothing about the medium that's inherently boys-only, anymore than words on a page or pictures on a screen. Gaming could be universal-- GTA4's opening weekend was four times as big as Iron Man's. Yet games continue to be marketed to one specific and permanently adolescent group of males, which leads to things like the comments on this article.

And so Nintendo is doing the unthinkable and marketing their games to people who don't drink Mountain Dew. Now Wiis are being set up in retirement homes, and this is a horrible thing. It's tainting the culture, I tell you. The reason I've had a game system since I was four years old is my seventy-plus year old grandmother made a point of giving me one. She's been buying and playing games since longer than I've been alive, but a fifteen year old Halo fanboy who has never even heard of Space Invaders is a truer gamer. Like a comic book nerd clinging to four decades of gnarled continuity, rejecting all attempts made to update, change, move forward, reinvigorate a dying industry-- because he is a true fan. Like dozens of posts on RPG message boards condemning Wizards of the Coast because fourth edition D&D is too user friendly. Nerd culture is closed-off, circular. I could never be a gamer even though I've been one all my life. God forbid someone try to change all that, to prove that games aren't just for basement-dwelling, pimple-faced video store clerks. Sell outs.

Um, also: saw Prince Caspian and Speed Racer. No one will go see Indiana Jones with me, I am heartbroken!!

I also finished Neverwhere: my favorite thing by Neil Gaiman so far. I think I don't like him as much as I should. I've read a lot of his stuff-- Sandman, American Gods, Good Omens, 1602, etc. -- and I've never really understood why people are crazy about him. I'm probably going to have to hand in some kind of membership card for saying this.

Did you know?

Thu, 29 May 2008 20:20:28 GMT

This is a meme post. This is pretty much only a meme post. Next time: secret thoughts on Jimmy Olsen!!

analogic tagged me for this a while ago.

1. Think of 15 short bits of interesting stuff about yourself. And they've gotta be true.
2. Come up with 5 false statements regarding yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of believability.
3. Jumble them all up together and list them in any order.
4. Post them on LJ and let people guess which the five false ones are!
5. Get 5 others to do the same.
6. AND DON'T CHEAT BY READING THROUGH THE COMMENTS EITHER. THAT'LL RUIN THE FUN. >:

1. One time I rescued children from a burning building. I am very much a superhero.

2. My middle name is Anne. It speaks to my awesome.

3. I can play the fife. This is the fault of historical nerdery.

4. Dr. Strange is my favorite ~~Avenger~~ Marvel character. (He shouldn't be an Avenger though.)

5. If I were a boy my parents would have named me Christopher.

6. I've been playing a lot of Brawl and using Ike, violating my own "Fire Emblem is Cheap" axiom. I think my friends are hating me for winning so much. But, but, BANDANA.

7. I have seen the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movie at least seven times. I am more upset about killing off Huck Finn than all the righteous bastardization of source material and/or Great Literature.

8. The X-men suck. Deal with it.

9. I think I'm a pretty good webdesigner, and funny, and actually pretty awesome, but I am deeply unconfident about my writing and art.

10. In the margins of my history notes, I write/draw crossovers between whatever I'm studying and videogames. Godwin = Godwin Y/Y??

11. Secretly, I think Aaron Burr doesn't deserve a lot of the flak he gets.

12. I think the Anita Blake books are terrible, but I've read every one.

13. I'm pretty sure if I lived back then I'd be a Calvinist. Things like Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God really get me, in some profound way I can't fully express.

14. When I was like ten I would play Final Fantasy with this sparkly baton thing. It was pink and had glitter tassels, and it resembled nothing in Final Fantasy, but in my warped child mind it meant I was an esper or something.

15. I like to quote things in other languages I don't understand. It makes me feel disgusting and academic.

16. Riley was actually my favorite Buffy love interest.

17. Large fandoms intimidate me, it's why I never got into Harry Potter. I'm scared they'll eat me up and spit me out or something.

18. I really want to write some elaborate backstory for Carlisle Cullen, centering around the English reformation and religious tensions in seventeenth century London, but I'm pretty sure this would make me a hopeless loser from all corners and trying to write, like, ideas into Twilight will ruin everything.

19. Sometimes I want to come up with a new alias and start the whole web thing over again, and not tell anybody. I sort of wish I had a secret identity like that.

20. You know who I hate? Locke Cole.

Circle of icon squee courtesy of proglution. Tell me if you want me to pick some out!

This is Amano!Locke, my favorite illustration of him. It's actually taken directly from the layout on valiant knife, I just selective colored it into the land of green. His illustrations in the original Final Fantasy III strategy guide were one of the reasons I fell in love with the game.

This is an illustration I just found really pretty. It's a knight! I love knights!! They wear shiny things and do random acts of gallantry!

Okay, long story, but: wagamamajuliet and I decided that the only PS3 remake of Final Fantasy VII we'd be supporting is one where everybody, everybody wears top hats. lalaloveppears recently added the stipulation of at least one (1) musical number. Then, some months later, I was laughing at the IGN message boards with gamera. You see, when they made their most recent Top 100 Games List, Final Fantasy VII was only in the seventies. A CRIME AGAINST BOTH GAMES AND ~*HUMANITY*~
Final Fantasy VII should have been alot higher, at lest at number 30 look at some of the things it did.

1. It was the first Final Fantasy in Europe.

2. It is one of the most influential titles in the history of video games.

3. It si one of the 10 most important games.

4. It was the first game to have FMV.

5. One for the best stroy lines in a game evr.

6. I s the most knowen Final Fantasy title.

7. Made RPG popular in American and Europe.

8. It has been called the game that killed the nintendo.

Then one intrepid fan decided to add something to that list:

let me add 10. Made a lot of people learn how to cry

If that does not give it a spot in the top 10, I do not know want does.

Resulting in the icon, and the following conversation:
2:02:30 PM terra: :( Clearly tophats need to enter the picture.
2:03:49 PM gamera: They fix everything!
2:03:52 PM gamera: They teach people to cry!

Washington's cabinet: Knox, Randolph, Jefferson, Hamilton. The sexiest of political bodies. I love American history and especially this exact part in it so, icon.

Explains itself. IF THIS WERE KINGDOM HEARTS, I WOULD HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH MR. NOMURA.

Wild Arms: ACF

FFVI

So I owe you one.

Fri, 23 May 2008 23:22:17 GMT

First up, calamityqueen requested some Twilight top fiving, so here we go with that.

5. Pretty much any time Edward is like, "I'm going to eat you." Because that's creepy. Eating people is not a turn on. Neither is heroin, really. But I guess there are some weird kinks out there, I don't wanna judge.

4. Bella jumps off a cliff but doesn't die. I mean, I know she's the narrator so she can't, but still, way to get my hopes up.

3. Any time cars are described in any amount of detail. It's like when newbie authors spend paragraphs describing a person's clothing, but instead, cars. Which I can't tell apart anyway.

2. The constant literary parallels Bella runs between her, Edward, and Cathy and Heathcliff. Romeo and Juliet? Were like fourteen, and then they died, because they never bothered to confirm their plans. Cathy and Heathcliff are both horrible people, and their love only makes them worse. These are not the literary relationships you want to emulate!

1. WTF, brain, why do you keep associating Edward Cullen with Edward from Final Fantasy IV? This doesn't make sense! I blame rydia.

I got tagged for a couple of other memes and I'll do that next time, but I don't really want to drown y'all in memes, so I'm waiting for next time. I kind of owed it to calamityqueen because I'm so late with her request.

I've been doing pretty well, I think: I got an internship at a local museum for the summer, so that should be fun, and I have my big summer trip coming up in a few days. I want to work more on my sites, but I find it really hard to do without internet at my apartment, so all those projects are sort of perpetually delayed. Ugh.

On the other hand I'm writing a lot more than I ever had, which is nice. Writing is something I've always done a little of but never really dedicated myself to-- which is strange because it's probably what I have the most natural aptitude for. I'm not a great artist but I work at it a lot, and get better. I don't really work at writing, and I'd like to. But ugh, it's still really nerve-wracking for me, and I still kind of shudder to post things publicly. Eeeeh.

Sorry I'm kinda late with this one.

Sun, 18 May 2008 03:08:13 GMT

I'm pretty sure my friend ezmo11 said it best:

And heeere is my official Iron Man movie post. Like I did for Spider-man 3 except with more alcohol.

So, Iron Man's a pretty not-well known character. Let's recap: Tony Stark, billionaire industrialist playboy, got himself captured in Vietnam (later retconned to Afghanistan) and built himself a giant-ass robot suit that helped keep his heart from giving out. Later, Tony got his heart condition fixed, but gained a new character flaw: alcoholism!

Then he got better, had a relapse, became a homeless vagrant, joined AA, became paralyzed while out of his suit, was turned evil by ~~Kang~~ alternate future Kang, was replaced by a teenage version of himself from another dimension, and was then recreated by the psychic spawn of Mr. Fantastic. In other words: COMICS, YOU LOSE.

Recently Tony, still sober and heart-condition free, found himself in need of another character flaw. So he decided to beat up his friends for the government and make an evil robot clone of his dead friend. Blah blah blah, Captain America died, Tony Stark got himself promoted, and he now makes guest appearances in every Marvel comic currently being published. He spends most of his time either being a total douchebag or trying (unsuccessfully) to convince me he isn't totally in love with Steve Rogers. ANNNGST.

This concludes our tour of TONY STARK, now on to the feature presentation.

Anyway, I'm going to use stick figures because I'm not going to bother illegally downloading this movie for screencaps. SO. The opening shot is of a jeep in the desert-- then we see inside of the jeep. Behold!

Then we get to see Tony Stark as he's talking to soldiers and describing his sexual conquests. But oh no! An explosion! Right at the very beginning! What will happen now? Cut to: 48 hours earlier!

Okay, not really, but everytime someone pulls that intro-cliffhanger to however many hours earlier schtick I'm reminded of techno music, wigs, and Rambaldi. <o>-- am I right or am I right?

Next we get a nice scene of Tony's accomplishment as he's awarded some award for being an engineering super-genius, but he's not there! He's gambling with scantily clad women! Let the following scenes introduce you to our cast of characters.

OUR HERO, Tony Stark, a man of great means, intelligence, and douchebaggery. His super power is being able to sleep with every woman. His private jet has a retractable stripper-pole built in, because he's classy like that.

James Rhodes, Rhodey, who is Stark's friend for some reason and somewhat involved in, like, the Air Force or something.

Pepper, Tony's gal Friday and the one attractive woman he does not sleep with after knowing for fifteen minutes. Thus, she is our film's love interest.

Obadiah Stane, a family friend and major player at Stark Industries. Don't be fooled by the bald head and ominous facial hair-- he's totally completely not evil. Really.

Anyway, so Tony goes clubbing, sleeps with a random reporter girl, gets on a plane, drinks a lot, watches his flight attendants strip and then makes a big explosion for the U.S. Military. On his way back to the plane, his jeep gets exploded, and then he is kidnapped by terrorists. Oh no! Also, there's some shrapnel stuck in his heart. The logical solution? An electro-magnet, powered by a car battery! This is completely practical and violates no health codes!!

Also in terrorist is Yensin, the one who jerry-rigged Tony's heart. The terrorists are holding Tony captive until he can build them a super-missile, but it's pretty clear they're just going to kill him afterword. But through some of Yensin's pep-talking, Tony gets a brilliant idea. Instead of a missile, he'll build some awesome robot armor! That will show them! That will show them all!!

Together, Tony and Yensin construct their robot armor under they watchful but stupid eyes of the terrorists. Then the chief terrorist comes to visit, stroking a large, conspicuous ring. He uses his powers of slight bureaucratic seniority to deduce that something's rotten in the state of Denmark. He questions Tony and Yensin about the arrival of his missile, and gives them one day to complete it.

Of course, this is just exactly enough time for them to finish making the robot suit, and so the terrorists are pretty thoroughly screwed. But alas! There is always room for loss:

Tony escapes, but upon his return to Malibu finds himself incomplete. He has a crisis of conscious. He makes weapons! But weapons kill people! And killing people is bad!

Of course, he spends the rest of the movie mostly in his basement, making new and progressively more awesome robot armor with fancy missiles attached. Damn the moral complexities, full speed ahead!!

After a few neat test-flights and gratuitous robot comedy, Tony decides to attend a charity ball. The problem is, since he's been in the basement all the time, and his last press conference was somewhat problematic, people think he's gone crazy! Also, Stane's informed him that the board has some troubles with his recent direction. The solution: dancing!! He finds Pepper in a gorgeous dress, and they have a moment of almost-kissing. But then he leaves her to go get a drink. Then Stane reveals himself-- it was he who filed the complaint against Tony! He's trying to take Stark industries away from him. Dun dun DUUUN.

Yes, he also has really pimp pyjamas. But it's revealed that he paid the terrorists to kidnap Tony! Curse his sudden yet inevitable betrayal!! He's figured out Tony's working on a giant suit of armor, and hires the other engineers at Stark Industries to build him a larger and more menacing suit. The problem is they can't figure out the power source they need to make the thing go. Obadiah curses. "Tony Stark made this with a bunch of scraps in a cave!!" The random lackey replies, "I'm not Tony STAAAAAARK!!"

Anyway, Obadiah takes matters into is own hands and steals the neat-o reactor Tony's got powering his heart. He then uses it to power his evil Iron Man suit. Tony scrambles for his back-up reactor and then meets Obadiah in single combat, in true bet-em-up finale style. At this point, you can do one of two things: realize that it makes really little sense for a sixty-year-old business man to get into a giant robot suit and start spouting super-villain clichés and be lame, or you can realize that giant robot battles are awesome and just shut up and enjoy the film.

Of course, good wins, and at the end Tony is called to a press conference where he tries to explain what was up with these giant suits of armor running around. "Oh yeah, that was totally my new bodyguard." One reporter gives the impression that she doesn't buy his crap, and Tony wavers. "Okay, yeah. I am Iron Man." This marks a bold new direction for facial hair, in a world where goatees are almost always a sign of evil.

After the credits roll, a scene plays. ~~Samuel L. Jackson~~-- I mean, Nick Fury!!-- shows up at Stark's techno-bungalow and introduces himself. "You're not the only superhero," he says. "Have you heard about the Avengers Initiative?"

Cue franchise.

P.S. Guys, Nick Fury is one million flavors of manliness and chest-muscles, he is actually more badass than Samuel L. Jackson. I direct you to this image as proof, c/o Jim Steranko.

To be brief: I really liked this movie. The best part were the short, unnecessary scenes between the actors-- Tony and Rhodes on the phone, that part with Pepper and the mucus-filled hole of doom, Obadiah and his evil pizza slices. The movie was in general really well-acted, and I'm pretty sure Robert Downey Jr. was meant to be the Iron Man of our universe. Just, Dr. Doom intervened or something and now he's just an actor with substance abuse problems.

What's interesting about this movie is that Iron Man's the most flawed of the flawed heroes, but for some reason his movie is the least angsty. There's no crushing guilt, no tortured romance. As a result it's a super hero movie that's actually really funny, and not in that uncomfortable Fantastic Four 2 sort of way. On the scale of recent movies of the genre, I'd put it above Spider-man but below Spider-man 2-- it's about on the level of Batman Begins, but though they feature similar heroes, the movies try to do two very different things.

Look Ma, Literacy!

Fri, 09 May 2008 07:19:20 GMT

Stealing this from angelamaria. I haven't done a book post in a while, and really guys I read more than Twilight and sixties Jimmy Olsen comics. Really.

Below are the top 106 books tagged “unread” in Librarything.

The rules:
Bold what you have read, italicize books you’ve started but couldn’t finish, and strike through books you hated. Add an asterisk* to those you’ve read more than once. Underline those on your TBR list.

Mostly I'm using underline as books I own but haven't gotten to yet.
Jonathan Strange & M. Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One hundred years of solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi: a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
~~Ulysses~~ (I hate James Joyce.)
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace (I'm still reading this, it's pretty awesome.)
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
A heartbreaking work of staggering genius
Atlas shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked: the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Canterbury tales
The Historian
~~A portrait of the artist as a young man~~ (I still hate James Joyce.)
Love in the time of cholera
Brave new world
The Fountainhead
Foucault’s Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
A clockwork orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible
1984
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One flew over the cuckoo’s nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
Gulliver’s Travels
Les misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The curious incident of the dog in the night-time
Dune
The Prince** (Really guys? This is short.)
The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes
The God of Small Things
A people’s history of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A confederacy of dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners (This is the exception to me hating James Joyce.)
The unbearable lightness of being
Beloved
Slaughterhouse-five
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit
In Cold Blood
White teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers

52: Unread, mostly stuff I don't care about. (Feel free to convince me otherwise :D)
40: Read
8: Owned, haven't started.
4: Started, not finished.
2: James Joyce.

Alex's To Do List

Thu, 08 May 2008 03:26:30 GMT

Mmmm, typing things out helps me keep track of them in my mind. So, To Do:

♠ Finish history paper about sheep.
♠ Iron Man: the recap. (avertuneiro, see icon.)
♠ Rewrite Chamillionaire lyrics to the tune of Edward Cullen.
♠ New layout a VK.org?
♠ Writing sample for summer internships? I don't know what to write!
♠ When finished writing all these things, have computer looked at.
♠ See every movie with Jeremy Irons in it, ever.
♠ Christian Bale.

From curtissed

Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter. Afterward, post this in your journal and give out some letters of your own.

♥ Y: The Last Man-- It was the only thing that came to mind at first. Mostly because the title is Y, but also because awesome.
♥ Yagami Light.-- Just. As. Planned.
♥ YA Fantasy -- Aww yeah, nothing spells I WIN like shopping in the kids section.
♥ Yggdrasil-- Mostly how it always seems to turn up in Japanese RPGs for some reason.

Player: Really? The World Tree? This mythological reference serves no purpose whatsoever.
Game Designer: STFU, it's an awesome name for a boss!!

Though, now that I'm thinking about, giant trees kind of show up in videogames a lot.
♥ Ys-- Nothing beats rockin' out to harp music about talking animals. For certain values of rock, anyway.
♥ Yoshitaka Amano-- A lot of people don't like his work with Final Fantasy, but I looove his art. Even if everyone is mysteriously blond.
♥ Yellow-- I feel this color is underrated.
♥ Young Avengers-- Even if none of my friends will read it 'cause it sounds lame.
♥ Yuan-- Everybody loves Yuan. You can't not.
♥ Youth-- I'm glad I still have it.
♥ Yesterday-- I'm glad it's over.

It was really hard not to write "your mom" for that.

GOOD JOB, INTERNETS!

Tue, 06 May 2008 19:08:41 GMT

Okay, so I've had a pretty crappy string of three or four days and I haven't gotten much sleep and I'm just not feeling too great in general. (Though I did get to see Iron Man twice, which was awesome.)

But anyway, like I was saying, this morning I was not doing too well, but I logged into livejournal and that made it all better. Thank you, sexy shirtless Christian Bale. Thank you drive-by Nick Fury fangirling. Thank all of you awesome people for being so awesome. ♥

Blah blah blah feel free to ignore.

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 22:06:28 GMT

I really shouldn't be flooding your friendslist with memes, but alas, this is what I am doing in the spirit of procrastination and crimefighting.

the superhero meme

Perfect Timing

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 03:33:34 GMT

So, my computer has decided that it doesn't really want to turn on, so I'll be a bit sparse for a little while. I'm sorry if I cut out on AIM, but that was the reason.

Really, this would happen right when I have a bunch of term papers due. My life-- she is made of pain.

So, because I'm awesome, my instant messenger has an FFIV theme. I got into a conversation with avertuneiro, LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

This led to EPIC HIJINX in the form of spontaneous roleplay. Speaking as Cecil, I told her that I very well could be emo on a mountaintop, and that this is where I got my tiara.

INTERNETS: 50000
ALEX: 1

You are what you fangirl.

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:32:52 GMT

Firstly: I've been on kind of a serial adding rampage, so hello new people, welcome to my hell :D I don't have an intro post or anything, but it's a livejournal, you know how this works. Also, shogunate, I was going to comment something about my deep secret love of Tokugawa Japan and how this relates to your new username, but it said I was banned from commenting? Which might be a good idea, really, I'm just not sure how intentional it was!

Moving right along with that Top 5 Meme, here are my Top Five Ridiculous RPG Outfits as requested by in_solis. The number one is kind of obvious, but really, there can be only one.

5. Luke fon Fabre, Tales of the Abyss--

This one is pretty low-key, but it's a prime example of just how RPG outfits usually go stupid. Something about the snowboard pants, the ridiculous hair, and the needless male midriff baring are just a few ways this outfit says DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT 200 DOLARS. Then, later on, when SPOILERS: Luke cuts his hair for CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, it reveals an unfortunate logo on the back of his shirt that the player has to stare at for the rest of the sixty hour game. Awkward.

4. The Entire Cast of Final Fantasy IV, As Drawn By Nintendo Power This isn't exactly canon, but COME ON. Who can resist the stylings of ARMOR SWIMSUIT KAIN??

Also, this is an appropriate time to point out that Cecil is probably not wearing any pants:

3. Nash Latkje, Suikogaiden Nash, I love you, but lavender is not stealthy nor particularly functional.

There are about fifteen different random buckles, a fastener the in the shape of a donut, and leggings that resemble kneesocks. Then tops that off with his special brand of overcoat-slash-dress and his strange, strange rectangular shoes.

2. Sion, The Bouncer We all knew that Nomura had to rear his primary-colored multizippered head sometime.

It has all the horrible details we've come to...appreciate Nomura for, the garish colorscheme, the nonsensical chokers and huge silver pendants. I also like the billowy shorts layered over the mini-leggings. Classy. Also of note: more jangly bits than you can shake an overlarge fighting implement at.

1. Ashley Riot, Vagrant Story Really, who else could it have been? Assless battleshorts. Assless battleshorts.

It amazes me that to this day I am the only person on livejournal interested in Ashley Riot's hair. It seems there's at least enough material for a college minor there.

That about wraps this one up. And if you were wondering, Melfice, that armor does make your boobs look bigger.

On a slightly more serious note, I was really busy last afternoon not studying for an exam, and so I found myself at TVTropes in the vicinity of the Valkyrie Profile. Somewhere around Misaimed Fandom I stumbled upon this little gem:

Lezard Valeth from Valkyrie Profile was written to be as repulsive as possible, a sexually deviant stalker and violator of natural laws; like Harry Potter grown up terribly, terribly wrong. Some fans eat his character up, and pair him with the heroine of the first game.

Now, as someone with this icon, I think it's pretty obvious that Tri-Ace intended Lezard to be a popular character-- after all, he's a super-special Seraphic Gate party member, with his partners in badass Freya and Brahams. His lechery is played for humor as much as it is for creepiness, and he is a genuinely brilliant free agent in a world overly concerned with destiny. Lezard also has an entire series of official manga to his credit, as well as a prominent role in Valkyrie Profile 2, which may has well have been subtitled Lezard for all Silmeria showed up in that thing. Yes, he is a horrible, horrible person-- but horrible people? In my Valkyrie Profile? When did that one happen?

But it did get me thinking: how does one fangirl evil? I love Lezard because he's such a fascinating character, because in a game full of gods his motivations are supremely human, in a game full of the dead he remains so triumphantly alive. To love, to aspire-- these are passionate, red things, things the gods do not do with any vibrancy, and watching Lezard's quest for knowledge and kindness unmake him is weirdly poignant. His actions are pretty reprehensible, but his worth as character isn't the same as his worth as a person.

Still, I have to admit the appeal of fictional evil. The characters I like in books are almost never the characters I like in life, and vice versa. I don't think this is so unusual; even the good guys can be too brightly colored and brooding to tolerate for periods of more than thirty minutes per week plus commercial breaks.

And yet, the love of villains is so often accompanied by a desire to change them, to make them better. We give them happy endings instead of downfalls. Does erasing fictional sins cheapen the real ones? Probably, eventually, if you decide that Satan is really the hero of Paradise Lost or make Tom Riddle your private pink squishy bear. At the very least, it's hard to make Sephiroth the good guy without insulting Aeris. But more than that, really, by writing off a character's faults we make them less than what they are, not more. I'm not sure what to do with the moral question, or the question of authorial intent versus popular interpretation, but if you take away the worst parts of a character, you usually take away the most interesting.

Someone let Alex into the US History Again...

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 03:32:31 GMT

So first off, some more fulfilling of the "Top Five Lists" meme. This is for lafourchette, who has been busy busy busy working on her thesis and dealing with grad school woes, so I wanted to do a good job. Kate, I give you internet hearts: ♥ ♥ ♥ And my top five awkward moments in US History.

The Cool Kids Won't Let Harry S Truman Sit at Their Table.

Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr have a Civilised Conversation. (Yes, it's a repeat joke, but I really wanted to illustrate it! Hamilton is fun to draw, plus: obsessed.)

Daniel Webster is Interrupted in Senate by His Cellular Phone. (I kind of like to imagine he has a really embarrassing ringtone.)

Thomas Jefferson, King of the Faeries, Uses His Giant Robot to Fend Off British Tyranny. (In the end, everything has a crossover with Harry Potter. EVERYTHING.)

MEANWHILE, IN REAL COMIC BOOKS:

Captain America came out last week and it contained this panel which I did not need to photoshop in any way. Most of the time, this comic is free of the usual Marvel one-liners, and everything is DEADLY SERIOUS but occasionally the surreal happens, and then I scan and post it to livejournal.

But really this is kind of in reference to a post on analogic's journal, where she talked about comics she liked and/or read and I thought I could be really nerdy and do that too.

Okay, so here is a list of comics that I read on a monthly basis:
-- Captain America
-- Daredevil
-- Immortal Iron Fist
-- Runaways (Monthly's a biiig lie on that one, though.)
-- Invincible
-- Green Lantern (Okay, I'm juuust picking this one up.)
-- All Star Superman
-- Powers
-- Criminal
-- Scalped
-- Ex Machina

Recs are very much welcome, I can usually get stuff for free through my college, so I'm always pretty willing to try stuff. (sarisa, your Hellboy suggestion was ace.) Blah blah, feel free to rank various Robins in order of sexiness or talk about how the cruel fate you are plotting for Joe Quesada.

Also, look! Over there! anonymous ◉ meme! I'm weak, and caved :/

Top Five Redundant Titles

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 04:29:47 GMT

Okay, so first I'm posting the first few of the top five lists from the last entry. I think I'm gonna be doing these in parts-- some of them seem to demand illustrations.

6. Sasarai vs. Hugo (Suikoden III) "Flame champ? More like Flame CHUMP!!" If this degree of wit and erudition doesn't endear you to His Grace the Bishop Sasarai, then nothing will and I don't want to be your friend anymore.

5. Thierry vs. Ganelon (La Chanson de Roland) Trial by combat might seem like an illogical practice, but in the land where Roland est preux et Olivier est sage, and Charlemange speaks in verse, duels are the ONLY FORM of interrogation. Somewhere between Law and Order and David vs Goliath, but with more treachery, assonance, and shiny armor. Plus, Thierry has a cool name.

4. Duncan MacLeod vs. George Gordon, Lord Byron (Highlander: The Series) It's not so much that this fight features Lord Byron as an immortal rock star whose songs seem to blend art house rock and hair metal, or that George and Duncan quote poetry at eachother while swordfighting (Byron always does that). It's that Byron, who has been inconsistently portrayed with a limp the whole episode, feels the need to shoot MacLeod in the leg and quip, "Now we're even." That's what really seals this one for me.

3. Alexander Hamilton vs. Aaron Burr (New Jersey, 1804) Of course this one had to turn up somewhere. Now for a totally accurate historical reenactment of the exchange the late Secretary of the Treasury had with Aaron Burr, That Dastardly Villain, Esq.

Hamilton: Yeah, Burr, I bet you totally screw your daughter since no one else will love you.
Burr: My daughter's dead!
Hamilton: Exactly.

He certainly was a classy fellow.

2. D'Artagnan vs. Athos, Porthos, and Aramis (The Three Musketeers) This is probably my favorite scene in all of Dumas, and what keeps it from being number one is that the duel never technically takes place, they all wind up fighting some of the Cardinal's men in the streets of Paris instead. The story goes that on his first day in the big city, D'Artagnan manages to offend the three greatest of the king's musketeers. He pencils them into his busy schedule one after another, and when he arrives at the square where they're gonna be sticking pointy things into fleshy parts, he's surprised to find all three of them showing up, as Athos' seconds.

"But this is the gentleman I was to duel!"
"But not until two o' clock!"
"And I was to duel him also!"
"But not until three o' clock!"

Badass, thy name is D'Artagnan.

1. Hornblower vs. Simpson (Mr Midshipan Hornbower/The Even Chance) Early in his naval career, Hornblower is unaccustomed to naval life and is constantly seasick and awkward. He is, however, both capable and intelligent, and his incurs the ire of the thirty year old midshipmen whose careers are off on a very long expedition to Antartica. Anyway, the end result of this is that everyone is unhappy and in the British Navy we solve these problems with alcohol. Now, Hornblower is very good at Whist, good enough to count cards, which prompts Simpson to accuse him of cheating. Hornblower, both mathematically inclined and somewhat suicidal, challenges Simpson (who's way better at this kind of thing) to a duel. Hornblower's stipulations are pistols at dawn, but only one of the guns will be loaded. Who gets which gun is random, of course, but the clever thing here is that this gives Hornblower an even chance where he had none at all before.

5. Garlic bread -- this mostly because I love to eat garlic bread, and so have to prepare it first.

4. Linguine with clam sauce -- Garlic smells really good when you saute it, and then I like making sauces on the stovetop. Mmmmm.

3. Beef Stew -- I like making one-pot meals. Plus, slicing up vegetables is fun, and you get to smell the food cooking for a long time. Mmmm.

2. Coq au Vin-- Kind of a variation on the last one, this is chicken cooked with red wine and assorted vegetables. Cooking chicken is probably the thing I'm best at, and this is a bit more fun than straight up chicken breast.

1. Chocolate Chip Cookies -- They smell so good! And I love baking, even if I'm not very good at it and don't get to do it very often. Plus, you can eat the dough.

In other news, Final Fantasy IV DS has an American release set for July 22, and the next Phoenix Wright game will feature a certain pink-suited prosecutor. My life is pretty much golden. Also, I went to the comic store yesterday and picked up the latest Green Lantern in addition to all the random titles I usually read, out of a desire to read at least one mainstream DC comic and also because karenjeane had good things to say. I liked it enough that I'm gonna pick up the next one and see what happens from there.

a. Post a list of 25 fandoms.
b. Have your friends list guess your favorite character from each one.
c. When guessed, bold the line, include the character name, and write a sentence about why you like that character.

Organized vaguely by level of difficulty.

1. Final Fantasy VI -- LOCKE COLE Pixel for pixel, there's no greater embodiment of heroism and the dangers thereof. Guessed by: Like everyone, this was a gimme.
2. Final Fantasy VIII -- Laguna Loire Negative three on the manliness scale, number one in my Squenix shaped heart. Guessed by: carbon, south0, e_dimension
3. Suikoden -- Nash ~~Latkje~~ Clovis The perfect mix of moral ambiguity. mentor figure, and good old fashioned RPG womanizing. Plus, the greatest patissier in all of Ivalice! Guessed by: proglution, carbon, south0
4. Final Fantasy IV -- Kain Highwind Because he doesn't backstab, he downstabs, and without him we'd be down a whole archetype. Guessed by: prpl_pen, carbon, south0, e_dimension
5. Valkyrie Profile -- Lezard Valeth The JRPG's stylish answer to both Harry Potter and Dr. Doom, plus, proof that I make passes at guys who wear glasses. Guessed by: omame, prpl_pen, carbon, south0, e_dimension
6. Final Fantasy Tactics-- Delita ~~Hyral~~ Heiral The difference between him and all your other backstabbing childhood pals is that Delita's good at it. So he winds the final boss of his own game, not Ramza's. Guessed by: prpl_pen, e_dimension
7. Tales of the Abyss -- Gailarida Galan Gardios Guy's been there and done that, and his strength of character is a notch above the typical RPG fare-- plus, I love a womanizer who's deathly afraid of women. Guessed by: omame, jadax
8. Tales of Symphonia -- Zelos Wilder Alternatively, I love a womanizer period. Guessed by: e_dimension
9. Avatar: The Last Airbender -- Zuko! His angst taught my face a PERMANENT LESSON, but he's a really well-written character when you get right down to it. Redemption stories are my favorites, outside of, you know, stories with swords. Guessed by: onthewing
10. Twilight -- Jasper ~~Whitlock~~ Cullen I'm a slut for American history, and in a contest between the flu epidemic of 1917 and the Civil War, guess which one wins out? Guessed by: carbon
11. Death Note -- Light Yagami I'm far, far away from agreeing with him, but the combination of hubris and how the shadows tend to fall menacingly around his eyes seals the deal. Guessed by: e_dimension
12. Runaways -- Chase Stein Victor's been demoted on account of him being a hobag, so Chase reclaims his throne and he's a wiseass dude with a psychic dinosaur and a poor upbringing, so he wins. Or rather, loses in my absolute favorite way. Guessed by: prpl_pen
13. Shadow Hearts: Covenant
14. Full Metal Alchemist -- Roy Mustang See: I love a womanizer, add on political ambitions, it's a recipe for success. Ling would've counted here, too. Guessed by: e_dimension
15. The Dark is Rising -- Bran Davies Bran knew how to tell Will where to stick it, and man did I ever have a crush on him when I was twelve. Guessed by: prpl_pen
16. The Chronicles of Prydain -- Fflewddur Fflam He's the best sidekick an assistant pig-keeper could ask for, and that scene with the harp in the end always gets me. Guessed by: prpl_pen
17. 1776 -- Hint: I mostly like him because he has the best waistcoats.
18. Arrested Development
19. Non-Runaways Marvel Comics -- HINT: NOT BUCKY!! A solidly B-list, longtime supporting player. I like my Silver Age Strange Tales.
20. DC Comics -- Jimmy Olsen More a never-ending source of crack than a character proper, but I love him anyway. Recently discovered just how much by being all huffy about his appearance in Countdown, great show of GIRLY NERD RAGE there. (My other favorite character is Maxwell Lord, hahaha, if you want to talk about characters being abused.) Guessed by: south0
21. Baldur's Gate
22. Boston Legal
23. Great Expectations -- Hint: It's a dude!
24. The Chronicles of Narnia -- Eustace Clarence Scrubb "There once was a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it." Great opening line, and I really loved the dragon story, the whole metaphor of transformation still rings true to me. YOU KNOW THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER IS THE BEST NARNIA BOOK. Don't deny. Guessed by: koenil
25. Jane Eyre -- St. John Rivers I KNOW IT'S LIKE I'M CRAZY, but he's actually the only hot guy in the book and I love me some zeal. Creepy dude, but an endlessly problematic and fascinating character. SEE ALSO: I LIKE WICKHAM MORE THAN DARCY. Guessed by: in_solis, flowerling

Mmmm, violence.

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 00:36:02 GMT

First off, I got tagged by efters to do the handwriting meme.

Handwrite the following things and upload it so your friends can see what your handwriting looks like!
1) name/username
2) left or right handed?
3) favourite letters to write
4) least favourite characters to write
5) write "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog."
6) tag 5 people

Now for the meat of this post: crack Final Fantasy crossover fanart!! I've had some requests and, um, yeah, so you can either click or pretend this never happened.

First, here is the "gothic Locke" drawing I promised wolveswithhats awhile ago. It's not as gothic as I wanted it to be, because actually I fail at drawing, but look, over there, a distraction!!

gamera wanted Suikoden drawn Final Fantasy Tactics. Mostly Nash's Suikoden III outfit because his Gaiden one suffers from a mild case of being a dress, but I drew grosser flux because Nash dual wields like a ninja.

This is the fault of the final_fantasy_6 community, but rydia was distressingly interested in Setzer dressed as Gambit too. So, uhhh. You can click for fullsize.

And how can we forget that time I predicted what would happen in the FFIV sequel using fanfiction.net? Really, I'm pretty sure the reason Kain went all betrayal on the party is because Cecil wouldn't share his haircare secrets.

And now for some audience participation: Comment with something (or a few somethings) that you would like me to make a "Top 5" list of. (Top 5 TV shows, etc, whatever) I'll post them in my next entry.. BE CRUEL.

So I read New Moon...

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:53:52 GMT

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, BELLA JUMPS OF A CLIFF AND THEN SHE DOESN'T DIE?!?!

I feel so ripped off.

Final Fantasy Tactics: THE MUSICAL!!

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 01:55:21 GMT

So, Final Fantasy Tactics has recently been consuming my life with a new translation and a surprising amount of spiffy cutscenes and/or Balthier. But while playing it occured to me that Final Fantasy Tactics, if adapted to the stage, would be my absolute favorite musical of all time, right behind All Not-So Quiet on the Western Front. And then when I get ideas like this, I have an unfortunate habit of following through.

So now for a musical number starring Delita Heiral.

DELITA
I am the very model of a Holy Knight of Ivalice
I've got my oaths and vows and allegiances quite frivolous
My sword is sharp, my wits are keen, my grand ambitions various--
From those batt'ling Dukes to the crown and the Church nefarious.
I've mastered ev'ry job class, and perfected all the arts martial
Tough towards bloodless usurpations, I admit I'm rather partial
But to ensure the future of our great and glorious nation
I'll gladly slit a few throats and resort to assassination.

CHORUS
He'll gladly slit a few throats, etc.

DELITA
For when it comes oaths and my allegiances quite frivolous
I am the very model of a Holy Knight of Ivalice

This next do I swear upon my murder'd sister's baseborn blood
Après moi, le déluge: to fight the current I'll become the flood:
Then they'll see the truth behind my allegiances quite frivolous
That I'm the very model of a Holy Knight of Ivalice.

For my wretched, warsick homeland I have a blameless vision
Of a peace long-lasting, equality, and freedom from division
So I shall plot and plan and devise inductions dangerous
And to succeed I must be free of moral questions onerous:
The cries of the common and oppressed have too long gone ignored
I mean to crown their pleas with a baptism of fire and the sword
My hard-fought dreams can only rise from the ashes of betrayals
Have you seen how hot I look in the new FMV portrayals?

CHORUS
Have you seen how hot, etc?

DELITA
Whilst the Templars and the Cardinal invoke strange pow'rs abyssian
I will wrest from them the throne and make monologues O. Smithian.
For though my oaths and vows and allegiances are quite frivolous
They'll say there's never been a finer Holy Knight of Ivalice.

RAMZA
Can you not see, Delita, that your actions have a human cost?
If you become ev'rything you've ever hated, your battle's lost!

DELITA
I'm sorry Ramza, but don't blame me, blame yourself or Square:
If you were meant to be more popular, they'd give you spikey hair.
And so, my darling Ovelia, if you would just take this ring—
Good-bye Ramaza, my friend, and as they say, 'Long live the king!'

For despite my oaths and vows and allegiances quite frivolous
I am the very model of a Holy Knight of Ivalice.

eclective, I apologize for the lack of Suikoden V. And also, I've noticed that I kinda ruin everything I love.

EDITED TO ADD: HELLO, BALTHIER. Why if you aren't hell on wheels! Oh, sweet, sweet 13 speed.